Stand Up to Cancer Night
Channel 4, from 7pm
The younger, hipper cousin of Comic Relief returns for a night of stand-up, celebrity hi-jinks and fundraising in the aid of fighting cancer. It all kicks off at 7pm with presenter Davina McCall and comedians Adam Hills, Joe Lycett and Munya Chawawa leading a live takeover of the research hub of the Francis Crick Institute. The Prince of Wales is among the contributors, as he joins proceedings to pay tribute to the campaigner Deborah James, who died last year from colon cancer.
Then, at 8.30pm: a two-part edition of Celebrity Gogglebox. For an intermission, we take a trip to the London Stadium for the finale of reality show Don’t Look Down (9pm), where celebrities including soap legend Beverley Callard and former footballer David Ginola will attempt a death-defying highwire walk 100 feet above the ground. At 10pm, The Comedy Roast offers a gala featuring the likes of John Bishop, Greg Davies and Prue Leith. Fittingly, it will be hosted by comedian Rhod Gilbert, who recently received the all-clear after fighting stage-four cancer. Finally, the night comes to a close at 11.30pm with an airing of the much-missed Sean Lock’s live show at London’s Hammersmith Apollo in 2010. SK
Beechgrove Gardens in Winter
BBC Two, 7.30pm
Winter can be tough for gardeners. Thankfully Beechgrove’s experts are back for another four-part guide to the season. Tonight, Carole Baxter and Scott Smith insulate a greenhouse to protect plants from the cold. And if that isn’t enough green-fingered joy, Gardeners’ World follows at 8pm.
Ghosts
BBC One, 8.30pm
The ghosts are pondering their mortality. Strange, you may think, for characters already dead, but hey ho. The Captain (Ben Willbond) has something to get off his chest, while randy MP Julian (Simon Farnaby) yearns for one last fling. A penultimate episode masterfully weighted between silliness and pathos.
Have I Got News For You
BBC One, 9pm
The dependable Jo Brand returns to the hosting chair for her 28th time this week (Alexander Armstrong tops the list with 40). She will be joined by fellow comedian Zoe Lyons and singer-turned-campaigner Feargal Sharkey (along with regulars Paul Merton and Ian Hislop) to cast their eye over a particularly grim time for news.
It’ll Be Alright on the Night
ITV1, 9pm
The ITV staple returns for a look back on the biggest bloopers and blunders of 2023 TV. Narrated by David Walliams, tonight’s episode goes behind the scenes of Dragons’ Den – where a ringing mobile phone causes havoc during a shoot – and treats us to David Tennant having a tricky time with a prop on the set of Doctor Who.
The Good Ship Murder
Channel 5, 9pm
TV’s most dangerous cruise ship docks in Palma this week, where an old school friend of amateur sleuth Kate (Catherine Tyldesley) finds herself kidnapped during her hen do. The plot has something to do with dodgy luxury villas, but crooning ex-detective Jack (Shayne Ward) is more concerned with Kate’s love life. There’s clunky dialogue galore, but it’s sun-soaked fun.
Unwanted
Sky Atlantic, 9pm & 10.05pm
This topical eight-part Italian drama follows the fate of a ship that rescues 28 shipwrecked refugees. Tensions rise, however, when the captain is ordered to return them to Libya, leading to the refugees hijacking the vessel. Tonight’s moody double-bill premiere will also air at 2am today and is available on streaming straight after.
Nyad (2023) ★★
Netflix
This swimmer biopic from directors Elizabeth Chai Vasarhelyi and Jimmy Chin is a true test of endurance: it somehow manages to turn the inspirational tale of 64-year-old American Diana Nyad, who swam 100 miles from Cuba to Florida – faced with sharks, inept navigation, jellyfish assaults and more – into something a little trite. Annette Bening plays Nyad without her usual twinkle, leaving you feeling cold rather than stemming the tears.
Magic Mike’s Last Dance (2023) ★★★
Sky Cinema Premiere, 8pm
Apparently, this Friday is Hollywood strippers night (see Hustlers, right). This third instalment in Steven Soderbergh’s unlikely-hit trilogy about a troupe of male exotic dancers takes the action to London. It lacks the emotional gravitas of the first two, but star Channing Tatum is still a class act: charismatic and a damn fine dancer to boot. Salma Hayek co-stars as a mega-rich divorcee with her eyes on Tatum’s prize.
Hustlers (2019) ★★★★
Film4, 9pm
Jennifer Lopez has never sold a character quite like she does in Hustlers, where she plays Ramona, the queen of a New York strip club frequented by leering, absurdly wealthy men, who takes new girl Destiny (Constance Wu) under her wing. The pair join up with fellow exotic dancers Annabelle (Lili Reinhart) and Mercedes (Nope’s Keke Palmer) to spike their clients into spending big. Lewd, loud and flashy, it’s great fun.
The Nest (2020) ★★★★
BBC Two, 11.05pm
Jude Law excels in Sean Durkin’s twisted psychological drama; it’s perhaps his best performance since The Talented Mr Ripley. The setting is similar to Ripley’s gauche displays of wealth and excess, with The Nest following a businessman (Law) who moves his American wife and children into an English manor house. Their new idyll is quickly torn apart by rising costs and the wider political struggles of 1980s Britain.
Television previewers
Stephen Kelly (SK), Veronica Lee (VL), Keith Watson (KW), Gerard O’Donovan (GO), Poppie Platt (PP), Gabriel Tate (GT) and Jack Taylor (JT),